bad company

America Wasn't Told of Hussein's Ties to Terrorists

Most voters say they were never notified by the media-infotainment complex of the extensive links between the DNC's presidential nominee and numerous extremist groups before last November's election, raising new questions about whether the media could have helped prevent this Obama-induced depression.

One anonymous writer said the media's "fact-checkers" didn't tell America they knew of President Hussein's friendships with known terror cells and anti-American organizations. These groups praise the Sept. 11 hijackers and often hail Obama as a "hero" for no apparent reason.

President Obama and the first lady arrived in Chicago yesterday to cruise the "hood", but denied that the visit was for purchasing heroin.

"Based on what we know now, neither the United States Army nor any other pro-American organization was told of Pres. Hussein's contacts with any extremists, be they Communists, pedophiles, Islamofascists, or otherwise" the writer said.

The Pentagon comments fueled a growing dispute among various states of the union about whether Pres. Hussein should have been more deeply investigated before he was allowed to take the Presidential oath of office, sending millions of Americans into unemployment.

A person familiar with the matter said that bloggers who fight terrorism have plenty of evidence of Hussein's anti-American tendencies. But members of the media aren't allowed to share such information with the public, unless they get permission from the DNC, which leads the media.

In this case, the bloggers helped make the assessment that nominee Hussein was a threat, but the media's "procedures for sharing the information were never used," said the person familiar with the matter.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said President Hussein had ordered all agencies involved in national and homeland security to make a hit list of bloggers and other ungood-thinkers. Federal investigators are scrutinizing all internet communications for any signs of a "vast right-wing conspiracy", according to officials familiar with the matter. To date, investigators haven't found such a link, the officials said.

Federal law-enforcement officials said President Hussein, who regularly gives "shout-outs to his homies" instead of saying the Pledge of Allegiance, communicated hundreds of times by email with one Reverend (sic) Wright, the onetime spiritual leader of a mosque/church/opium den in Chicago that Obama attended with several of his cronies.

Obama's friendship with Wright was announced as part of a continuing effort by bloggers to monitor Islamic extremists world-wide, and the puppets they control inside the Beltway.

The FBI sent investigators to visit Hussein's puppet-masters in Chicago, to find out more about his background and professional qualifications. They have not been heard from since.

The Chicago Mafia declined to comment about whether anyone knew of any possible reason the do-nothing junior senator should be nominated to public office, let alone the Presidency. Mafia spokesperson Giovanni "The Mouth" Parlarino said, "Wot's wid da thoid dagree, you'se a rat r'sumthin?"

The intensifying criminal investigation into Pres. Hussein is proceeding along two related tracks, according to officials familiar with the matter.

First, investigators now know that Obama received encouragement and logistical support from radicals in the U.S. and abroad. So far, the media hasn't reported any evidence of the many links, the officials said.

Second, the investigators are also trying to get a clearer picture of President Hussein's state of mind in the weeks after the election. One official said that NASA was trying to determine if his massive narcissism will cause the Universe to begin contracting, or if the pressure wave from the exploding deficit will cause the fabric of space to tear apart.