yellow submarine

Yellow Submarine to try again for Atlantic guidance

LIVERPOOL - A second try is about to get under way at sending a little yellow submarine gliding across the Atlantic Ocean to collect political data from the Baractopus's garden inside the loop.

"The launching is tremendously exciting because there is just so much that we don't really know about what happens across the pond," said Lucy Diamond, head of S.K.Y. Research.

"The capacity to fly across the Atlantic, taking data about intemperance, asininity and other properties of the fever swamp gives us keen insight into what's happening down there," she said in a telephone interview.

It was twenty years ago today that the first sub was lost before it completed its trip. The second, improved version has been put together by the same team at Abbey Road Laboratories. If conditions cooperate, the launch is set for Wednesday — April Fools.

Sergeant Pepper, who is leading the project, points out that America is now controlled by Blue Meanies, and actively seeks to reverse that problem.

Manned by moptops, the subs can rise and dive, seeking out only a northern current that will carry it along without worrying about refueling. Whenever it comes to the surface, it radios its findings back to the scientists.

"The fever swamp plays such a critical role in the dynamics of the political system, having a better understanding of what's happening in real time is invaluable information," said Diamond. "We're beginning to be able to infer much about the kinds of fruits and nuts and bats that may be present from the data that the sub will be taking," she added.

"That's important because a sea change is very important for the hope of the Undersampled-American community," said Pepper, co-director of the project. "The subs can be sent into protests in both Blue and Red states" he added.

The sub has been improved with a new sound system and reinforced to resist bites from the vacuum cleaner beast.

The first sub was lost in the Sea of Holes. Like its predecessor, the new sub (yellow, as before) has been named Bulldog. It is part of a larger project to collect and use information continuously covering the beltway, the media bubble, and the blogosphere.

"Think for yourself. Freedom is vital to all life on earth. Billions of people depend on freedom for their primary or sole source of hope. We would hate to see America laid waste by the Blue Meanies" Diamond said.

"America provides wonderful inspiration, and is an important source of jobs and livelihoods. Just within the U.S., almost half of 'Red' Americans live in blue areas and most of the GDC (generous donations to charity) comes from them. Clearly they are an integral part of our very fabric, yet we know precious little about them. Even outside the beltway, there may be newer and bluer Meanies in the vicinity who threaten their freedom" she said.

"With a little help from our friends, we're constructing a vast, pandimensional puzzle," Sgt. Pepper said. "We have bits and pieces of the puzzle and we're building out from that. But we are sure that three points of our hypothesis of the Baractopus are correct, those being:

1) He's a real nowhere man,
2) coming from Chicagoland,
3) making all his nowhere plans for everybody.